For many years I have held a reasonable level of disdain for new years resolutions and the setting of often untenable goals which involve Lycra. I prefer setting “goals” in September as this is the time of year when the family year starts, in line with the school year.
However, I do see this time of year as special and worthy of reflection, celebration, and intention setting. So, give yourself the gift of a quite hour or so this January and contemplate the following questions and thoughts.
1. Go through last year, month by month (look in your diary if that helps) and make a note of all the good stuff, however small – the times with friends, the special trips and days out, any particular achievements or landmark events. This is especially important if you had a tough year – its all too easy to say “2018 was sh*te, good riddance to a bad year!” and not acknowledge the positives, however tiny.
2. Spend a few minutes acknowledging any loses and difficult times. Remind yourself of any little cracks of light that shone out of those dark times and any good things that may have happened since. Honour these things. With a warm and compassionate heart, start accepting the things you can’t change, even just a little.
3. Think about all you have learnt this past year. Perhaps things about your work – maybe you realise you need a job change or perhaps you have realised how awesome you are at your job! Perhaps you have learned some big life lessons about relationships. Perhaps you have finally learnt that running isn’t your thing, but Salsa dancing is?
4. What do you want more of in your life? Those things that make your heart sing and get you in flow.
5. What do you want less of? Those energy drainers and heart sinks.
6. We all do things which are not helpful to ourselves by sabotaging our desires and intentions. Spend some time being honest with yourself and think critically about how you yourself sabotaged yourself over the last year. Don’t beat yourself up – we all do it. The more you recognise these times and your favourite sabotage methods, the more they will lessen their grip on you. For example, you say you want to ferry the kids around less, but you continue to make yourself too available. You know that you will go to dance class if its in your diary, but you don’t write it in. Clearly, I have a long list of examples, should you need more!
7. Finally, acknowledge where you need to be gentler on yourself. When you find things that you berate yourself over, ask yourself whether you would be so hard on your best friend. I really feel we need to be much more self -compassionate – it’s kinda the only way forward for the world.
Love and light from me x
